Never Before Told.

I've never told you just how much I care for you. Funny, cause I thought you would reassure me that you felt the same way. But maybe that 'care' I feel for you is just in a friend way & in no other way. My friends were talking to me after school today. I told them about you & they caught you looking/glancing my way. Do you know how that little bit of information makes me feel? It lifts my spirits up and beyond the sky. I sound so stupid right now because I don't even have the courage to say it to you. AND THEN, to make matters worse--when I TRY to get over you...you keep coming on more and more. It's like you won't let me let go of you! So tell me, do you or do you not? I know you're shy, I know you tend to be that way around girls you like & you are hesitant, BUT--I've been pushing aside my feelings till you would somehow-someday reassure me that I didn't need to. Then, I talk with my friends online about how I am getting over you and they tell me about the other fish in the sea, speak of the devil, you im me. You tell me about your little plan to your mom. You want to surprise her and make a deal with her this Sunday to see if you can get that car of yours. You usually only come to me for those kind of things huh?

I think I really know how I feel about you now. I see you as a friend. A good one. Cause today, afterschool, totally changed everything. Other fish swam up to shore. I saw that it felt good to be around other guys. I'm sorry I can't give you ALL my attention.

So I hate that feeling where like I feel that, when I am talking to multiple people at the same time in real life, they are fighting for your attention. This ALWAYS happens to me. Like today! Branden & Johnson were totally going at it where Branden was speaking about Chinese and Johnson about why I wasn't eating his candy...lol Johnson cracks me upp. Branden too. People say that Johnson is 'HELLA MEAN' but he seems really nice when he's around me! I don't see him like that though. He just cracks me up (:

Summer will really help me get over it, NOT seeing your face NOT seeing that intimidating height NOT hearing your voice--I'll miss it, but it's for my own good.